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The choice between in-person learning, where available, and remote learning is a fraught one for parents. Children experience joy and connection when they learn alongside other kids, but they risk being exposed to the coronavirus. Remote learning at home can protect kids from COVID-19, but does it set back their social-emotional development?

The might feel stark. But as a family therapist and professor of educational psychology who , I can assure you that no single schooling option guarantees a happy, healthy kid or dooms a child to despair.

In fact, much more than schooling context, children鈥檚 mental health relies on high-quality relationships within families.

Spending time with other children can benefit children鈥檚 mental health, though it鈥檚 not clear that group settings are necessary to achieve those gains. Some research from before the pandemic found that home-schooled children experience  than kids in school, especially when families maintain ties to religious institutions and community groups. Other studies show no differences or suggest that home-schooled children . And of course processes within schools during the pandemic will change how children interact.

No matter what the schooling situation, four key components belong in a child鈥檚 mental health toolkit. The good news is that parents can support all of these areas as part of in-person, remote, or small-pod learning.

Connecting mind and body: 鈥淲hat I need鈥�

Mental health and physical health are inextricably linked. Physical activity, good nutrition, and sleep are all crucial for both. Children need  and a consistent schedule鈥攅specially during times of unease such as now. Children need to go to bed  each evening and wake up at a similar time each morning.

This guidance applies across ages. Though it鈥檚 normal for sleep schedules to shift in adolescence, . Research increasingly shows that  is a central issue in symptoms of depression, anxiety, and other mental health problems.

Developing identity: 鈥淲ho I am鈥�

Children of all ages incorporate information from both family members and peers into their sense of identity.

School exposes students to others with similar and different viewpoints or backgrounds and lets them confront social rules. Research with home-schooled children shows that  is good for their mental health. Peer relationships, especially in adolescence, are related to self-esteem. Overall, positive peer relationships throughout childhood can help students adjust in school, while  on mental health.

But kids鈥� empathy and pro-social behaviors, such as helping someone in need鈥斺�攈elp them build and maintain their friendships. If you鈥檙e worried about kids being isolated while learning remotely, remember that  source of self-esteem and a positive sense of self for children.

Focusing on reciprocity is one way families can help kids explore identity. Parents should ask open-ended questions and show curiosity about children鈥檚 opinions and interests. Family rituals, such as a special weekly dinner, family game night, or a loving bedtime ritual, can support family bonding and help children gain a strong sense of self, . Parents can try to engage in 20 minutes of joyful, focused interaction with their kids each day and consistently observe and promote their children鈥檚 positive attributes.

Regulating emotions: 鈥淗ow I feel鈥�

Skills that allow children to understand their emotions and make choices about how they respond to them are crucial building blocks of good mental health. Families can practice regulating emotions with their children, supporting strategies to understand and manage frustration, anger, and sadness when those feelings become unmanageable. Experiencing  supports good mental health.

Children are likely to experience complex emotions in the coming months. At school, kids may have a hard time separating from family or difficulty when confronted with new safety measures and expectations. In addition, existing school-based risk factors such as bullying may exacerbate mental health issues. Children at home may feel disconnected and pick up on stress within families facing work and income challenges. Ongoing issues in families such as parental mental health problems and family violence can also put children at risk.

When children face emotions that are unfamiliar, dysregulated behavior鈥攚hich can include sleeplessness, aggression, or listlessness, for example鈥攎ay be a first indicator for adults, who can provide emotion coaching. Parents can regularly check in with children to take their 鈥渇eelings temperature鈥� and suggest ways to practice coping.

, such as art, music, and dance can support positive emotional development and coping, as well.

Recognizing interdependence: 鈥淲ho we are鈥�

A big piece of good mental health is being able to see yourself as a part of a whole.

The parent-child relationship is the context in which children learn to view themselves as interdependent鈥攁 person who is connected to previous generations and present networks.

Responses to the pandemic can threaten the usual sense of community. To help make up for any isolation, whether because of remote learning or physical distancing measures, families can provide opportunities for children to consider others鈥� feelings and practice giving and receiving emotional support.

Parents must attend to their own mental health; research shows that if parents struggle with depression, aspects of children鈥檚 social-emotional development鈥攊ncluding building empathy skills and engaging socially鈥�.

Challenges abound, but the tools are consistent

Kids who were vulnerable before the pandemic remain vulnerable. But mental health risk factors are largely the same for children whether .

Any changes, even happy ones, can create stress. Good mental health is the ability to adapt. The strategies in this toolkit can help children adapt and cope with stress, whether because of the pandemic, economic inequities, racism, unaddressed special needs, or interpersonal problems within a family.

Some children . They may have complex learning needs, or they might be unsafe at home, and they depend on school to buffer problems at home. But the argument that all children in general  to ward off a mental health crisis is just not true. Wherever and however kids are learning this year, families can support students so they continue developing as mentally healthy individuals.

This article was originally published by . It has been published here with permission.