猫咪社区

Janna Rivas smiled at the three men on the computer screen in front of her.

鈥淪o who wants to start us off with their check-in today?鈥� she asked cheerfully.

For a few moments, no one spoke. Then, a man with long hair raised his hand.

鈥淚 am checking in today definitely with joy, grateful to be here again another week,鈥� he said, pausing as if searching for the right words.

鈥淎nd a little bit of shame at the same time, that I鈥檓 having to do this,鈥� he continued. 鈥淚 just wish I would have learned this approach before it was a necessity.鈥�

It was week four of , a program of up to a year that aims to help people responsible for domestic violence change their behavior patterns and build healthy relationships. Run by Monarch Services, a domestic violence intervention and prevention agency in Santa Cruz County, the program encourages participants to tune into their emotions, practice nonviolent communication skills, and identify negative childhood experiences that may have led them to express emotions in a violent way.

The program reflects a growing movement among anti-violence advocates, domestic violence agencies, and even lawmakers to find effective ways to break the cycle of abuse. They argue that addressing domestic violence solely through the criminal justice system, such as by involving the police or incarcerating people, doesn鈥檛 fix the problem or promote healing, and may actually cause additional harm. But more holistic, trauma-informed approaches like Positive Solutions can give people a chance to process the deeper reasons for their behavior and allow them an opportunity to change.

鈥淚t just gives you chills,鈥� said Rivas, program manager at Monarch Services. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e watching folks process and forgive themselves and each other. These guys are nodding and saying, 鈥榊es, that happened to me too. You鈥檙e not alone.鈥欌��

Since 1994, California has required people convicted of domestic violence and granted probation to attend what鈥檚 known as a 鈥渂atterer intervention program鈥� certified by their county鈥檚 probation department. However, violence prevention advocates and researchers have long questioned whether these programs are effective, citing high dropout rates and little evidence that they stop people from reoffending. A 2005 report by the California Attorney General found that dropout rates are as high as 89% in some counties. One criticism of these traditional programs is that they are overseen by the criminal justice system and, as such, tend to take a punitive rather than a healing approach. The style of many programs is authoritative and didactical, critics say, and often reinforces feelings of shame, alienating participants.

鈥淵ou鈥檙e just another person telling them what to do,鈥� said Dalia Ochoa, a facilitator for Positive Solutions who ran 鈥渂atterer intervention鈥� classes at a probation department before joining Monarch Services.

People of color, who research suggests are overrepresented in court-mandated batterer intervention programs due to societal inequities, also frequently mistrust interventions associated with the criminal justice system due to experiences of police harassment and brutality in their communities, experts say.

California鈥檚 state auditor is scheduled to release an audit later this year on the effectiveness of California鈥檚 domestic violence intervention programs, at the prompting of Assemblymember Timothy Grayson (a Democrat from Concord). And six counties (Napa, San Luis Obispo, Santa Clara, Santa Cruz, Santa Barbara, and Yolo) are piloting alternative programs that experiment with different lengths and types of classes, using funding from an passed in 2018. The pandemic delayed some of the pilots, and it will take more time to determine the outcome, according to by the California State Association of Counties.

In the meantime, a handful of local nonprofits are taking up the helm.

The Link Between Childhood Trauma and Domestic Violence

Working with those responsible for domestic violence is new for Monarch Services. Since its founding in 1977, the agency has focused on serving survivors of intimate partner abuse by providing them with emergency shelter, crisis intervention, and legal services. At first glance, the idea of helping those who have committed violence, whom some traditionally viewed as 鈥渂ad鈥� people, seemed anathema to the organization鈥檚 mission, said Co-Executive Director Kalyne Foster Renda. But three years ago, while consulting with survivors on a new strategic vision for the agency, staff heard the same request repeatedly.

鈥溾�業 wish there was a program that could help my partner,鈥欌�� survivors told Foster Renda. 鈥溾�業 want to stay with them.鈥� Or, 鈥楳y kids are going to spend time with my ex-partner and I鈥檓 worried about the violence.鈥� It kept coming up.鈥�

The Monarch Services team began scouring the state for a program they could implement. Most, like Monarch Services in the past, held fast to the belief that they should only help the victims of violence. Then, agency staff came across in Placerville, a domestic violence intervention and prevention organization that developed the Positive Solutions program about five years ago and now works with about 90 men and women on any given week. They went to observe the program in action.

鈥淲e were blown away by the personal accountability that folks were showing, the support that was happening within the group鈥攖hat鈥檚 really the key to this program, is folks hold each other accountable,鈥� said Foster Renda. 鈥淭hey allow for vulnerability, and there鈥檚 really this pressure on folks to be honest and own their stuff and be able to communicate effectively, in a non-harming way. We thought, 鈥極K, this looks amazing.鈥欌��

Executive Director Matt Huckabay at The Center said his agency developed Positive Solutions after surveying hundreds of people who had been in a relationship where there was domestic violence and noticing that almost all of them had experienced high levels of abuse or neglect as children. By uncovering this trauma during the program鈥檚 weekly sessions, people start to better understand its impact on their behavior as adults, opening the door to healing and change, Huckabay said.

The program also teaches participants to tap into their full range of emotions and learn how to express them. Men especially have often learned as children to repress any emotion other than anger, Huckabay said. If they grew up in abusive households, its common for them to have faced physical violence or loss of affection from a caregiver if they showed emotions such as grief or hurt.

鈥淭hey learned very early on to connect vulnerability [and] expressions of emotions to physical pain [and] absence of love,鈥� he said. 鈥淧art of the success of the program is really creating a space for men to become very, very vulnerable. To express their feelings of hurt, of shame, their sadness, their grief, and to allow the processing of those emotions where it is viewed as being a strength, not a weakness.鈥�

Identifying Suppressed Emotions and Experiences

Originally designed as an in-person program, Monarch Services is currently holding meetings on Zoom due to the pandemic. Each Positive Solutions session is two hours long, with two trained facilitators. It begins with a check-in, where attendees choose from one of five 鈥渃ore鈥� emotions to express how they鈥檙e feeling鈥攋oy/happiness, shame, guilt, anger, or sadness鈥攁nd explain why. They鈥檙e also asked to note something they鈥檙e grateful for.

After talking through any issues that come up, the facilitators introduce a topic for discussion, such as power and control in an abusive relationship, cultural norms around masculinity, or the intergenerational cycle of violence. In the most recent session, the topic was 鈥渁lways do your best,鈥� one of 鈥淭he Four Agreements鈥� from the famous book of that name by Don Miguel Ruiz. Participants are encouraged to identify how these issues have surfaced in their own lives. The facilitators鈥� role is to help guide the conversation, ask questions to dig deeper, and propose new ways to address or reframe situations involving conflict. However, they try not to dominate the conversation, or act as teachers or experts. Rather, participants are encouraged to support and guide each other.

鈥淎ll of us are on a healing journey, all of us have trauma, all of us have things to learn and grow from,鈥� Rivas said. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 why we are 鈥榗o-facilitators.鈥� 鈥� We have resources to share, we have the training to identify where to go a little deeper, but the group will have a topic and it will flow based on what comes up.鈥�

Ochoa recounted how one man revealed that both his mom and a stepdad beat him as a child, and how he鈥檇 also regularly watched his stepdad hit his mom. Another participant began the program saying his childhood was fine, but a few weeks into the class, he shared experiences of sexual abuse.

At the end of each class, participants are asked to choose a 鈥渟tretch鈥濃�攕omething practical they will do in the week ahead to implement the skills they鈥檝e been learning. The following week, they report back to the group how it went.

During the recent Positive Solutions session, one man shared the results of his most recent 鈥渟tretch鈥濃�攕tarting a conversation with his wife about the possibility of moving back in together. He didn鈥檛 get the answer he wanted, he said, but he recognized the point at which their dialogue was in danger of escalating into a fight and was able to instead walk away from the situation. Another participant talked about how, for his stretch, he had been trying to come up with steps he could take to avoid saying something hurtful when he got angry. Rivas advised him to start by taking a deep breath and connecting to how his body feels to try to identify the real reason he is upset before he speaks. 鈥淚s it sadness, hurt, shame?鈥� she asked.

鈥淚 bet if you said the real thing you were feeling or thinking, without judgment or defense or trying to be right, it would probably be a lot closer to a heart-centered response,鈥� she told him. 

So far, Monarch Services has worked with 10 men, including the current cohort, in Positive Solutions. It began with two 16-week pilot programs before launching the full program in March. Rivas and Ochoa said they hope to grow participation in the coming year. Feedback from participants has been very positive. Some have regained custody of their children or gained employment. From looking at calls for help to the agency and arrest records, it appears none have gone on to reoffend, they said.

The Center in Placerville, meanwhile, has more evidence that the program works. Out of 75 people who completed the course over the past two years in El Dorado County, only one was rearrested for domestic violence within a year of completing the program, Huckabay said. Studies of other domestic violence intervention programs generally show much lower success rates, with anywhere between 14% and 62% of men reoffending after completing a program, according to a of batterer intervention programs. 

Jesse James Jarvie, 31, of Santa Cruz, is currently in the program at Monarch Services. Jarvie separated from his wife last year and was required to take a course on domestic violence as part of a restraining order against him. He chose Positive Solutions on the recommendation of an attorney, and also because he felt drawn to the class鈥檚 focus on finding the root of the problem. Jarvie said he grew up in a verbally abusive household and didn鈥檛 realize until he did the class that verbal abuse鈥攏ot just physical abuse鈥攁lso counts as domestic violence.

鈥淔or me, it was like, 鈥極h, that鈥檚 normal to get in an argument and say things you don鈥檛 mean, and then apologize,鈥欌�� he said. 鈥淚 literally thought arguing and fighting and saying mean things was just part of marriage in general. But it鈥檚 not OK. 鈥� I鈥檓 aware of that now.鈥�

Held 鈥楢ccountable to Showing Up in New Ways鈥�

Positive Solutions does accept referrals from probation departments, courts, and children and family services agencies. But the approach is different, because it鈥檚 focused on healing and the practical application of learning. The program emphasizes holding participants 鈥渁ccountable to showing up in new ways,鈥� Huckabay said.

鈥淏ehavior change requires more than just education,鈥� Huckabay added. 鈥淓ducation is a piece of it, but then there has to be a whole component of: 鈥榃hat do I do next? What new tools do I get? Where are the new tools? How do I use them?鈥欌��

Monarch Services is also seeking to address other criticisms of traditional intervention programs: that they鈥檙e not easily accessible to people looking for help controlling damaging behavior before it escalates to the point of arrest. They can also cost, on average, 鈥攚hich can create a financial hardship for participants, many of whom have limited incomes.

Both Monarch Services and The Center welcome participants who want to attend on a voluntary basis, not because they鈥檝e been mandated to by the court. At Monarch Services, the program is free. The Center charges based on a sliding scale but doesn鈥檛 turn anyone away. Both organizations rely on outside donations to fund the programs.

Identifying Best Practices

Advocates and lawmakers are still trying to figure out exactly how to make intervention programs for domestic violence offenders more effective. An overview of the research on 鈥渂atterer鈥檚 intervention鈥� programs found that overall, they 鈥渉ave not proven to be particularly effective, nor do they encourage individuals to seek intervention prior to arrest.鈥� More 鈥渢rauma-informed, whole person interventions鈥� could be more successful, the researchers wrote. Other criticisms of traditional domestic violence intervention programs include that they are often unavailable or unwelcoming to non-English speakers, LGBTQ people, or people living in rural areas.

California鈥檚 lack of funding for programs for people responsible for domestic violence is one major barrier to making the programs more accessible, the report found. The state does not provide funding for these programs. Providers are supposed to make their money from the fees they charge participants, but many can鈥檛 afford these fees and drop out. The fees also discourage people from participating in the programs voluntarily as a preventative measure, which could be more effective than waiting until someone is mandated to attend because of a run-in with the police or courts, the report said.

The researchers, who studied five states outside of California with innovative approaches to tackling domestic violence, identified best practices, including putting public health departments in charge of overseeing intervention programming for people who cause harm, rather than the criminal justice system. Programs should also be tailored to the cultural and linguistic needs of each community.

鈥淭hrough this shift, California can uplift healing, strengthen communities, and move the needle towards realizing transformative justice,鈥� the authors wrote.

Michael Cochrane, co-chair of the Association of Batterers Intervention Programs, which represents programs in Los Angeles, said one problem is that standards vary from county to county and program to program. He said there are competing philosophies among providers as to which approach is best鈥攈e estimated that about half favor the traditional, didactical approach, which he likened to school. Others, including himself, prefer a 鈥渢rauma-based鈥� approach, which can include delving into childhood trauma. He hadn鈥檛 heard of Positive Solutions, but said the program sounded like the latter.

鈥淎ll domestic violence is generational,鈥� he said. 鈥淚鈥檝e seen more success when you can break down how they got to where they are.鈥�

The Alliance for Boys and Men of Color, a San Francisco-based network of hundreds of community and advocacy organizations, is also calling for the state to move away from responses to domestic violence that are based in the criminal justice system. The organization favors a restorative justice approach, which typically involves collaborating with the person who caused harm, the survivor, and family and community members.

More holistic supports for people who have caused harm are also needed, such as job training, substance use treatment, and financial assistance, said Eric Morrison-Smith, the alliance鈥檚 executive director. Other ideas include offering a helpline for people struggling with abusive behavior, which is in some countries.

Back at the Positive Solutions session, the participants were wrapping up by expressing how they now felt, and what they were grateful for. One man said he was ending the session with mixed feelings鈥攂oth anger and joy. During the session, he had talked about how upset he was that his estranged spouse wouldn鈥檛 talk to him. Rivas gently pointed out that he could not force his former partner to do what he wanted, and that perhaps she didn鈥檛 talk to him because in the past he had made her feel unsafe. On reflection, the man said he realized he was being unreasonable.

鈥淚鈥檓 checking out with some anger toward my inner voice,鈥� he said. 鈥淚鈥檓 like, 鈥榃oah. Why do I have this necessity to control her? And why [does] 鈥� my inner voice say she needs to forgive me in order for me to be happy?鈥欌��

But also, 鈥淚鈥檓 feeling the happiness, the joy, because I do know that I can change that,鈥� he said. 鈥淚鈥檓 happy that I have this awareness of what I need to work on, and I鈥檓 grateful again for this group today, for this really deep stuff.鈥�

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, contact the  at 1-800-799-7233 for support and referrals, or text 鈥淪TART鈥� to 88788.

This story was produced in partnership with the .