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Everyone is grieving. We may not always know what someone is grieving, or at what stage of the grieving process they are in, but they are grieving, and so are we. We are all grieving鈥攕omething. Our grief may be individual or collective, but everywhere we look, we can find grief standing as an obelisk to remind us of our mortality or to appeal to our humanity. 

Since grief can be isolating, disorientating, and even polarizing, we often try to ignore or bury it. We don鈥檛 want it taking up too much space or attracting too much attention. It can be a burden, and one that fills us with unnecessary feelings of shame.聽

But there鈥檚 evidence that supports that sharing the burden of grief in public invites others to aid in the healing process. It can also allow a stronger social resilience to discuss topics of grief and mourning. And it connects us to community in ways that may be able to enact change. In short, externalization and communal care of grief can be transformative.

The American Psychiatric Association (APA) defines grief as Jamie Eaddy, thanatologist, activist, and founder of has a different definition for grief. She says, 鈥淕rief is our human response to loss, change, and transition.鈥� As a thanatologist鈥攕omeone who studies death, dying, grief, and bereavement鈥攕he believes the experience of grief extends beyond being able to name whom we are grieving. 鈥淏eyond people, it is ideas and safety and all of those things that are not necessarily directed toward us but are felt as losses emotionally for us when they鈥檙e no longer here.鈥�

No matter whom or what we are grieving, Eaddy stresses the importance of recognizing and processing our grief. 鈥淲e know that grief is felt or experienced in the body like stress. And what does stress do to the body? It impacts your, your immune system, your heart.鈥�

Research supports that beyond physiological distress, unattended grief can also negatively impact mental health, including, which according to the, can make sufferers incapable of performing normal activities because of deep, overwhelming feelings of sadness.

The Emotional and Psychological Benefits of Acknowledging Grief

Christiana Awosan, a licensed therapist and founder of in New York, says when the emotions of grief remain trapped in the body and aren鈥檛 processed, 鈥渨e physically, emotionally, and psychologically become paralyzed.鈥�

鈥淚t鈥檚 important to acknowledge not only the loss that we experience but also the process of letting ourselves know that someone and/or something significant has shifted in our lives,鈥� she says.

Melissa Burkhead of Massachusetts says that when she was overwhelmed with grief, her first instinct was to isolate. 鈥淲hen I lost two sister friends and an aunt in a 12-month period, I felt overwhelmed and didn鈥檛 want to talk about it or even get out of bed,鈥� she says. 鈥淏ut when I started going back to church, and people started asking why I hadn鈥檛 been attending, a friend suggested the grief group being held once a week. I attended for six weeks, cried lots of tears, made lots of new friends, and slowly began to feel happy again.鈥�

In contrast, Julia Mallory of Pennsylvania says after her son was killed seven years ago, she felt she had to 鈥済rieve publicly and talk candidly about her loss, and the many layers of loss, even if it conflicted with what people felt grief was supposed to look like.鈥� She says, 鈥淚 felt and heard in my spirit that I needed to speak openly and publicly about it.鈥�

Awosan says acknowledging grief 鈥渁llows you to be patient with yourself and give yourself grace to feel, express, and accept the waves of grief. And in turn, you鈥檒l also have the capacity to provide others with the room to do the same.鈥�

This was true for Mallory. After she began her very personal healing journey, she recognized the need for more compassionate spaces for others to process their grief. She is currently the owner and operator of a community creative space called where she hosts events and 鈥渉ealing hours鈥� for her community to talk about their grief. 

鈥淲e need connection and community in order to process our grief fully,鈥� she says.

Awosan and Eaddy agree that grieving in public can provide validation of our humanity.

鈥淪haring grief gives people the opportunity to allow themselves to be cared for and to care for others. It allows people to witness how they and others experience and express grief while being human,鈥� Awosan says.

鈥淎t the end of the day, I don鈥檛 need validation that I鈥檓 human,鈥� Eaddy says, 鈥渂ut there is a part of all of us as humans that longs for connection and validation.鈥� She adds, 鈥淚n isolation we don鈥檛 avail ourselves of the healing power that can come from somebody saying, 鈥業 see you.鈥� Your person or thing, the experience, whatever the loss is, it matters.鈥� 

Public Grief Can Lead to Mobilization

We know we can experience grief due to and traumatic stress, but we have also seen how collective grief can lead to mobilization. We鈥檝e seen environmental activism as the result of the grief over environmental degradation. We鈥檝e seen the women鈥檚 rights movement come as a result of the grief over gender inequality, and global movements for justice following the grief over political or racial injustice.

Research shows that particularly in the Black community, and calls for systemic change. We saw this in the form of protest and sit-ins during the civil rights movement, and more recently from 2016 to 2020 through the work of movement in response to the murders of Travyon Martin, Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, and many others.

Eaddy says, 鈥淔or me, Black Lives Matter publicly said, 鈥榃e are grieving. We are hurting. We are sad, and we鈥檙e not going to hurt in the closet.鈥欌�� She explains that hiding grief has social consequences as well. 鈥淚f I have to hurt in the closet, it gets to remain hidden from everybody, including those who are causing the pain.鈥�

She adds, 鈥淛ust by putting it in the world鈥檚 face, there was a percentage of humans who decided they would no longer be ignorant to what was happening to fellow humans.鈥�

Currently, we are seeing public grief and grievance play out with protests in response to the innocent lives lost in Palestine and the Congo.

Collective Healing Through Grieving in Public

Just as there is collective grief, there can also be collective healing. Whether it鈥檚 through church groups, or sharing stories and experiences to create empathy and unity, or forming support networks and communities, we can find ways to heal together.

Eaddy says, 鈥淵ou need to grieve in public because when we grieve in isolation, it pulls us away from people, and the truth is we are not designed or created to operate in isolation. We are created to be in community.鈥�

If we don鈥檛 share our grief, we contribute to the lack of empathy and understanding in society, the perpetuation of systemic injustices and inequalities, and divisions and conflicts within communities. For the sake of personal and collective well-being and empowerment, individuals and society must choose to acknowledge and process grief.  

The power of public grieving is its ability to connect us and drive healing and change.

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Yolande Clark-Jackson is a multimedia creative communicator and consultant who has worked in various areas of publishing. She holds an MFA in creative nonfiction and is an award-winning personal essayist and author of the award-winning children鈥檚 book,聽Rocko鈥檚 Big Launch. Yolande has published writing on multiple platforms and has been both a teaching artist and an artist-in-residence. She is currently seeking representation for her first book of narrative nonfiction, and is expanding a family archive project and art exhibition that first showed in City Arts Gallery in Orlando in June 2022.聽 To help聽spark the inner storytellers of others, she also hosts monthly creative writing events called 鈥淲ine Down and Write.鈥� She is a member of the Author鈥檚 Guild, and speaks English. Connect:

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