猫咪社区

For many trans and nonbinary people, bathrooms can be complicated places to navigate鈥攁 fact highlighted by  in Oklahoma. 

Oklahoma is far from an outlier when it comes to failing to provide safe and equitable bathrooms for transgender people. According to the Movement Advancement Project, which tracks LGBTQ+ policy, prevents transgender people from safely or legally using public bathrooms.聽

But data shows that even in states with trans-friendly policies, transgender and nonbinary people report high rates of harassment in public bathrooms. Advocates say everyday people can have a big impact in interrupting discrimination in gendered restrooms. Here鈥檚 how anyone can help prevent abuse. 

Acknowledge that bathrooms can be scary, and help locate safe options

Sex-segregated restrooms have historically been a hostile space for Tat Bellamy-Walker, a Seattle-based journalist and Black gender-fluid trans person. In graduate school and at journalism internships, they had to go far out of their way to find all-gender single-stall restrooms they could use safely. 

鈥淵ou never forget being told you don鈥檛 belong in a restroom, you never forget not having a place to dispose of sanitary products if you鈥檙e on your period in the men鈥檚 bathroom,鈥� Bellamy-Walker said. 鈥淚t鈥檚 just clear you do not belong in public spaces.鈥�

Allies can help tremendously by locating and pointing out gender-neutral bathrooms to friends or family who might need them. This is especially important for people planning events or parties. Make sure your space has safe bathrooms.

Offer to be a bathroom buddy to your trans and nonbinary friends

Carrie Soto, a South Dakota parent of a transgender child, said she lives by the mantra 鈥渟ee something, say something.鈥� 

That means speaking up when there is bullying and harassment and volunteering to accompany a trans/nonbinary friend or family member when they have to head into a public bathroom. 

鈥淰alidate a trans person鈥檚 fears and anxiety about the situation,鈥� Soto said. 鈥� If [my daughter] uses a gendered restroom and feels anxious, I go with.鈥� 

Make trans and nonbinary people welcome if you see them in bathrooms

It may seem obvious, but transgender health advocate Jamison Green notes this step can really help trans people feel safe. Consider first that according to聽, 59% of trans people avoided using a public restroom due to fear of harassment. Data from聽聽said they were physically or verbally attacked while trying to use a bathroom, while 4% were denied access to a bathroom.聽

鈥淚f you see someone who you clock as trans or nonbinary, just smile or pay them a non-provocative compliment. 鈥� Wish them good day or good evening, and move on,鈥� Green said. 鈥淥f course that only goes for the women鈥檚 room! In the men鈥檚 room, talking is extremely rare.鈥�

Green recommends that cisgender people offer a kind, silent nod.

Ask for more gender-neutral options

Twenty-two states and Washington, D.C., allow residents to opt for 鈥淴鈥� gender markers on their IDs in addition to selecting 鈥淢鈥� or 鈥淔.鈥� Still, in every state, regardless of laws, most bathrooms in government buildings, schools, businesses, places of worship, and cultural institutions are gendered.聽

Advocates say people can help change this by simply asking businesses and building owners for more options to accommodate all genders.

鈥淎dvocacy is the most important part of the fight for transgender rights,鈥�  鈥淎nd if employers adopt pro-trans policies proactively, instead of waiting for a transgender person to pave the way, there鈥檚 much less chance of having problems down the line.鈥�

Try to leave single-stall gender-neutral bathrooms free unless you need them

The internet is  not appropriate for a news article about people using the only single-stall gender neutral bathrooms available not for safety but for 鈥� well, pooping. As a result, gender-neutral bathrooms, especially in airports, are almost always occupied.

There are many reasons why a cisgender person might need a single-occupancy bathroom (accessibility, illness, child care, and, yes, even a little more privacy). Just like accessible stalls, it鈥檚 a kindness to leave gender-neutral restrooms unoccupied when you don鈥檛 need them.聽聽聽

This story was originally published by , and is reprinted here as part of 猫咪社区!鈥檚 participation in The 19th News Network.