猫咪社区

As the editor of a magazine that covers aging, I often receive pitches about the 鈥渋nvisibility鈥� of older women. Invisibility out in the world, where others tend to stop noticing us and start talking over us.

And invisibility in film and television, where , and women older than 40 tend to be portrayed as dowdy and asexual, if not downright disgusting. 

At 57, I find this resonates. Since my mid-40s, I鈥檝e drawn progressively less attention in public鈥攐n the street, in stores, and in bars and restaurants. While that might not sound catastrophic, less sexual attention can mean less social power, which is the only power we鈥檙e afforded in the first place. We live in a patriarchal, sexist society that values women more for their appearance than other attributes, like skill and intelligence. Add ageism to sexism, and people inhabiting aging female bodies aren鈥檛 highly valued.

Women often feel from their 40s on that they鈥檙e seen as less relevant, says Gina Frangello, the 53-year-old author of . 鈥淭he lessened sexual-attention component can be a blessing, a curse, or both. But the blessing part is, in my view, also due to gross ways of conceptualizing women in the patriarchy.鈥�

I keep wondering what happened to the talented actresses who were prominent when I was growing up. Why are most of the older actresses I see on screen cast in marginal roles? Women are given less dialogue in films the older they get, and per 鈥�,鈥� a 2020 report compiled by the Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media, 鈥淔emale characters 50+ are more likely than male characters 50+ to be shown as senile, homebound, feeble, and frumpy.鈥�

Representation matters, says Alana Officer, head of the World Health Organization鈥檚 Demographic Change and Healthy Ageing unit. 鈥淩epresentations on television are crucial because they influence our everyday perceptions and interactions, including how we relate to older people, and they shape how we each see ourselves growing old.鈥�

Too often, older women are misrepresented, says Frangello. 鈥淩epresentations of older women are almost always about someone 鈥榞etting her groove back鈥� because it鈥檚 gone, or as some teachable moment to illustrate how out of it the older woman is.鈥� She cites , last year鈥檚 , as showing its 50-something characters as 鈥渋mbeciles.鈥� For example, 鈥淢iranda has been an attorney in Manhattan her entire adult life and spent much of a season in the original series with a Black boyfriend, but now she doesn鈥檛 know there are Black college professors who might have braids?鈥�

While this larger observation rings true, in recent years I鈥檝e noticed a slight shift in the other direction, wherein a handful of middle-aged and older actresses portray self-possessed, vibrant characters鈥攑owerful, complicated, multifaceted humans who happen to also be sexual beings, both desirous of and desirable to others. And they鈥檙e being paired with younger partners, counter to the common trope of older men in relationships with much younger women.

I heard myself shouting 鈥淵es!鈥� at my television recently when, in Season 2 of , Deborah Vance, played by 71-year-old Jean Smart, has a one-night stand with a much younger man. It鈥檚 unsettling when we first see Deborah meet Jason (played by 44-year-old Devon Sawa) at a bar. Is this guy a swindler, like Brad Pitt鈥檚 character in Thelma & Louise? Is he a serial killer? 

鈥淲hat, do you have a fetish for older women?鈥� she asks Jason. 鈥淚 guess I do. I like older women, is that a bad thing?鈥� he replies. She goes back to his place and we witness a perfectly lovely, mutually respectful roll in the hay. No big deal鈥攋ust an older woman on the road having a good time, getting some needs met from a younger dude, then going home and getting on with her life. 

Ava DuVernay鈥檚 offers another positive portrayal of an older woman. At nearly 60, 鈥淎unt Vi,鈥� played by Tina Lifford, has a younger fianc茅, Hollywood Desonier, played by 46-year-old Omar J. Dorsey. Vi and Hollywood are hot for each other. They鈥檙e often shown displaying affection and sneaking off into the bedroom whenever the mood strikes. I love this for Vi.

Then there鈥檚 51-year-old Sandra Oh鈥檚 character in , security operative Eve Polastri, who becomes mutually obsessed with assassin Villanelle, played by 29-year-old Jodie Comer. Eve鈥攎arried in a straight relationship and in midlife鈥攊s lustful for and desired by a much younger woman, discovering a new facet to her sexuality. Most recently, I鈥檝e been heartened by , a film featuring 63-year-old Emma Thompson as a recent widow who鈥檚 been sexually frustrated all her life, never once achieving orgasm. She hires a young sex worker, played by 29-year-old Daryl McCormack, to help her locate her libido. How empowering to see an older woman who has been so sexually repressed find the courage to ask for that help. It鈥檚 a testament to the inherent power of honesty and vulnerability.

Although uplifting examples, such roles are still few and far between. And how important are on-screen changes, anyway? Frangello points out that visibility is just one of many problems facing women in post-Roe America. 鈥淲e live in a moment when there鈥檚 a lot going on that can neutralize women鈥檚 efforts to attain so-called equality in every realm because we are too busy trying to put out 900-alarm dumpster fires and trying to convince men in power that we are, you know, actually human,鈥� she says.

But I see these issues as intertwined. As long as we鈥檙e marginalized in the media, it鈥檒l be difficult for us to politically command the respect we deserve. So here鈥檚 to more portrayals of older women as full鈥攁nd lusty鈥攈uman beings, and all the power that brings with it.